A Day Off

So you want to take the day off. Let`s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you have already had 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break that accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.

It leaves you only 20 days available for work. We offer 5 holidays, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give you 14 days vacation per year, which leaves you only ONE DAY available for work, and I`ll be damned if you`re going to take that one day off!!!

available - доступний, наявний у розпорядженні

to spend (spent, spent) - проводити (про час)

coffee break - невелика перерва

to accounts for - викликати що-небудь, призводити до чого-небудь

sick leave - відпустка через хворобу

to offer - пропонувати, робити пропозицію

generously - щедро

to be damned - бути проклятим