Test 14


Read the text below. Mach choices (A - H) to (1 – 5). There are three choices you do not need to use.


Everything had the potential to be funny. War, famine, disease — everything. Unhappiness was all perception and nothing bad could ever happen to you if you could laugh about it and have people laugh at it with you. All that had to happen for everything to be funny was to breed out all the people with no sense of humor — the vast group of people who laughed at Last of the Summer Wine.

We really believed it. It was the answer to everything. There are four distinct phases of human evolution from the first real non-monkey human, to modern upright man. They are all marked more by social differences than physiological ones. Neanderthals buried their dead; Homo sapiens farmed. Why should evolution stop? It must still be happening.


It seemed obvious — makes fire, makes tools, buries dead, farms... makes jokes. This was the difference between modern man and his ancestors. The only real snag is that you’d expect the gene for humorto triumph through natural selection because it’s such a likable human attribute. People with a good sense of humor should be in charge. A sense of humor is the most valued characteristic in modern society — it’s what people claim to look for in personal aids. Nobody says, “I am 28, tall, dark and handsome and have a total inability to see the funny side of life.”


The cleverer a person is, the funnier they tend to be, but only up to a point.

Beyond this point they aren’t funny at all. Beyond this point they tend to be cold-hearted geniuses who spend all day inventing things, or devising new mathematical theorems for the rate that gases expand.


This is what we thought. Geniuses don’t run the world because: they tend to die childless; and they don’t have a very good sense of humor and are probably very difficult to get along with.

‘Hey, Newton, do you want to hear this really funny thing that happened to me today?’

No, thank you, I am redefining the nature of the refraction of light through a prism.’

‘Suit yourself, egghead.’

( 4 )________

This sense of self-importance is directly proportional to how much you’re laughed at. If you can’t laugh at misfortune the only way to cope with it is to blame others for your misfortune — hence people without a sense of humor are often vicious. Also, it’s difficult for people without a sense of humor to be likable.

( 5 )________

To cope with this, people with no sense of humor become cloyingly nice, pretend to have a sense of humor by repeating Fast Show jokes, or lust for power so everybody at least has to pretend to like them. It makes them very ambitious, so they tend to be the ones in very good jobs, including ones in the arts. Almost all of the world’s problems, from poverty to war and disease, are caused by people with no sense of humor.

A So what characteristic would mark the next great leap?
B The other reason a sense of humour hasn’t triumphed is because what people without a sense of humour tend to have instead is a sense of self-importance.
C The reason why people with a sense of humour haven’t triumphed is because intelligence and humour are so closely related they’re often difficult to distinguish.
D Why would anybody want to be with people who can’t make them laugh?
E People without a sense of humour don’t see the funny side of life.
F   Very clever people are freaks, it’s a disability, an autistic form of intelligence, an intelligence with something crucial removed that can’t accommodate paradoxes.
G All people enjoy to be laughed at.


Read the text below. For questions (6 – 10) choose the correct answer (A, B, C or D).

Why fathers want to look after the babyOne of the most extensive surveys of fathers has now shown that, far from the stereotype, most men would like to share childcare duties with their partners or wives.

The survey made by the Equal Opportunities Commission shows a modern type of father: the New Dad. He takes part in day-to-day childcare and does not mind helping with the vacuuming and washing-up — if only when his partner asks him to. The EOC interviewed sixty-four fathers and their partners about their home and work life. Most fathers agreed that it was important to ‘be there’ for their children for key events such as school sports day, their first appearance in the school play and for at least one meal a day. Many agreed that parenting classes would be a good way to give them more confidence around the home.

Based on the survey results, four types of fathers were defined, from the traditional type of dad to the perfect New Dad, who is as much involved in taking care of the children as the mother. The survey found that the majority of men were somewhere between these two types.

In the first category comes Enforcer Dad, the old-fashioned disciplinarian who does not see himself as involved in the day-to-day care of his children. He sees his responsibilities as setting clear limits for them and being a role model. Most fathers do not see this as their only role. The two biggest categories are Entertainer Dad and Useful Dad. Entertainer Dad is at his best keeping his children laughing while his partner gets on with household chores and arranging the children’s school and extra activities. Useful Dad is willing to help out around the house, even though he expects the mother to be the ‘team leader’ in all things domestic.

Finally, and probably every woman’s dream, is Fully Involved Dad. He is equally engaged in running the home and the family, and sees the role of the father and the mother as practically identical. Fully Involved Dads adjust their work arrangements to their partners’ professional duties. ‘ I do have definite childcare commitments,’ said one father in this category. ‘There are certain times or occasions where it is non-negotiable and I just leave the office on time.’

Julie Mellor, chairwoman of the EOC, said that fathers were still not given enough flexibility at work and mothers would feel fully supported only if employers treated (and paid) both equally. “Mums and dads should be able to choose how they want to share the responsibilities of bringing up children and working outside the home,” she said. “But until we have equal pay, decent, childcare and more opportunities to work flexible hours, many fathers will continue to find it hard to be there for their children and many women will continue to be disadvantaged at work. This is not the best solution for parents, children or employers. Equality at work or home depends on both mums’ and dads’ family responsibilities being acknowledged,” Mellor said.

6. Why would many fathers like to go to parenting classes?_______________
A To learn how to do day-to-day childcare.
B Because they want to attend important school events.
C Because they think it’s important to be involved in the day-to-day care of children.
D So they can be more confident in dealing with domestic issues.
7. How do Enforcer Dads view their role in childcare?_______________
A They don’t see childcare as their responsibility.
B They teach their children discipline by setting an example for them.
C They keep children amused while their partner gets on with housework.
D It’s important-for them to be involved in the day-to-day care of their children.
8. How do Fully Involved Dads find time to share childcare responsibilities with their partners?
A They run the home and the family, so their partners can focus on their professional duties.
B They fit their work commitments to their partner’s arrangements.
C They often leave the office early.
D They think it’s their partner’s responsibility to negotiate flexibility at their workplace
9. What’s woman’s dream?___________________
A Enforcer Dad.
B Fully Involved Dad.
C Entertainer Dad.
D Useful Dad.
10. What does Julie Mellor think employers should do?_______________
A Employers should provide both parents with equal pay and flexible working hours.
B They should allow parents to work from home so they can look after their children.
C They should give women more support so they can take on more of the childcare responsibilities at home.
D They should pay women more because they are often disadvantaged in the workplace.


Read the text below. Choose from (A—G) the one which best fits each space (11—15). There are two choices you do not need to use.

Inventive SwedenHere’s an unusual exercise: try to have a Sweden-free day. Just try. Don’t wake up on Ikea’s Sultan mattress. Don’t drink milk from a carton. Throw away your Hermes & Mauritz clothes. Ignore the Metro newspaper handed to you on your way to work. And don’t even think of using Skype. You may be one of the clever people who don’t own a Volvo or Saab, but you can’t win: the ball bearings on your bus were probably made by SKF.

If Sweden’s huge contribution to modern life had come from a bigger country, there would be people talking of hegemony and calling for a boycott. But little Sweden — a peasant land before the Second World War and now with just over nine million people — simply inspires admiration.

According to the 2006 European Growth and Jobs Monitor produced by the Lisbon Council, a Brussels-based think-tank, Sweden is (11)________, ahead of Belgium, the Netherlands and the UK.

The council praised Sweden for refocusing its economic policy in the early 1990s by reducing public-sector employment, reforming the welfare system, cutting corporate taxes, investing more than 4 per cent of GDP in research, and promoting employment.

Yet, if thoughts of Sweden’s $ 285 billion economy bring to mind names like Ericsson, Tetra Pak (the cartons), Electrolux and Absolut (vodka), they also inspire the image of a cradle-to-grave welfare system, and the resulting high taxes.

For most of the past 70 years — up until September 2006 — the social democrats ruled the country. They came to power in (12)________ that had seen one million people emigrate to the US in the late 19th century. Sweden’s wood and iron meant wealth, but only for a few, elite families.

In the 1930s and 1940s, the social democrats industrialized the nation, making the best of their late start, while the growing working and middle classes were made to pay high income tax, the elite families such as the Wallenbergs — whose 112 holding companies form the basis of many Swedish multinationals — were not chased into economic exile.

(13)________ needed consumer goods (Electrolux), telephones (Ericsson) and clothing (H&M).

Coming from a simple farming background, Ikea founder Ingvar Kamprad — who still today, in his eighties, drives a used car and flies economy class — thought the Swedes needed affordable furniture, too; he is currently rated the fourth-richest businessman in the world by Forbes magazine.

But (14)________ is only part of the Swedish success story. The other part is human. The Protestant Swedes do not believe in luxury. Their favourite word is lagom (just right). Their climate and huge distances have made them self-sufficient and inventive. Sweden brought us the steam turbine, the plastic bag and the zip.

Even today, it has more registered patents per head than any other country. The way things are going; it will become ever harder to have (15)________.

The next big thing is the “experience industry”, where related creative sectors, such as design, music, fashion and advertising, work together on new products. Out of this, one of the world’s most dynamic computer-games industries has already been born. By 2015, that industry is expected to employ 25,000 Swedes.

A Sweden’s fast-growing cities
B Sweden’s wood and iron
C   Europe’s best-performing economy
D a Sweden-free day
E the natural course of history
F a peasant land
G a tall woman


Read the text below. Match choices (A-G) to (16—20). There are two choices you do not need to use.


Regina New bold investigates five very different holiday options


Be an ecotourist

If you have guilty feelings about what we’re doing to the environment, you can lose them on this holiday the work you do is as good for the world as it is for you. You can do your bit for the planet whilst enjoying some of the most beautiful sights of the natural world. Starting at daybreak, you’ll be working from boats, albeit in the sunshine, as you study the behaviour of some amazing sea mammals. You’ll be taking photos to identify individual animals, collecting skin samples for analysis and monitoring pie animals’ movements. You don’t have to be too serious to enjoy this sort of working holiday.


Dive into the Red Sea

This holiday is perfect if you and your friends are after a seriously undemanding break with sun, pools and the option of a little sporty diversion if you want it. This is a relaxing beach resort which enjoys year-round good weather, some of the best diving in the world and just enough nightlife to keep you amused. If you take the optional course, it only takes four days to pick up the basics of scuba diving. It’s not for everybody though, so try it out in your local pool back home before you commit yourself. Even if you hate the scuba diving, you can always take yourself off for a swim with the local dolphin population, or go sunbathing on the beach.


Walking off the calories

This is an ideal compromise for the food lover with a guilt complex. You can enjoy some of the best of French cuisine in a series of small family-run hotels, the ten-mile walk from one to another cancelling out the calories. At least that’s the theoryl The walks are divided into easy, average and difficult and as long as you select wisely it shouldn’t be too taxing. What’s more, there’s plenty of time to gossip non-stop with your companions both along the way and over dinner could there be a better way to make new friends?


Recipe for success

This holiday was sensational,’ reported one person who’d signed up for two weeks in the ancient farmhouse in Italy. ‘You meet people who all have something in common.’ And that something is a love of good food and drink. Although there are opportunities to be on your own if you prefer, the long cooking sessions provide an ideal environment for getting to know your fellow guests whilst you gain an insight into the local way of life. The highlight of the course, naturally, is being able to eat the mouthwatering food you’ve prepared, and the knowledge that you’ll be able to try your newfound expertise out on all your friends on your return.


City break

People go to Bilbao mostly for the city’s artistic highlights and you can manage to pack quite a lot into even a short stay. There are, of course, fantastic shops and restaurants in the centre, but if you’re prepared to stray just a short way off the beaten track, you’ll find places that are much cheaper where the local people go to shop and eat. And those local people are exceptionally friendly, especially the cafe owners who are keen to tell you all the background to the sights and the local customs. Everyone who goes promises themselves that they’ll soon be going back, and taking their friends along too.

On which of the holidays will you...

A have to get up early in the morning?
B be able to choose how much to spend on meals?
C   find a good environment for creative work?
D get the chance to understand another culture better?
E have a nice walk?
F have a number of planned activities to choose from?
G learn a skill that will be useful back home?


Read and complete the text below. For each of the empty space (21—32) choose the correct answer.

The Siamese catThe Siamese cat is a relatively new breed in Britain. The first pair of cats was brought to England in 1885 from Siam (now (21)________ as Thailand), (22)________ for centuries they had been treasured in the royal palaces and temples. A register of Siamese cats is (23)________ by the British Siamese Club.

The register shows that half the Siamese cats in Britain today are (24)________ from the original pair brought to England in 1885. There are four different (25)________ of Siamese cats, all of (26)________ have different combinations of fur colour on their faces, bodies and paws. The (27)________ distinctive feature of a Siamese cat is its beautiful blue eyes. These animals are prized (28)________ their intelligence and independence. (29)________ many ways, this cat is (30)________ a dog; it will fetch a ball, loves being (31)________ for walks on a lead, and doesn’t (32)________ being bathed.

# A B C D
21 registered regarded known held
22 there which where that
23 regained possessed kept controlled
24 derived descended appeared originated
25 types marks models patterns
26 that who them which
27 much most more very
28 for in of on
29 Of By In On
30 like just as similar
31 taken carried fetched led
32 care bother mind protest


Read the text below. For questions (33 – 38) choose the correct answer (A, B, C or D).
Many people exercise to lose weight. A calorie is a unit that measures the energy content of foods and the energy expenditure by the body. When the daily calorie intake from food is the same as calories (33)________ from exercise, weight remains the same. The number of calories burned (34)________ exercise varies greatly with the type of physical (35)________, but the key to successful weight reduction is to exercise regularly, without increasing food intake proportionally. For example, walking one hour (36)________ day may utilize only 300 calories of energy per day, a small fraction of an individual’s daily caloric intake. But over a period of time, if food consumption (37)________ simultaneously reduced or remains the same, significant weight loss will result. One sound approach to reducing calories is to eat healthier foods that contain more fiber, and less fat, and therefore fewer calories. This type of diet has also been proven (38)________ for the heart and blood vessels.
# A B C D
33 followed expended extended divided
34 during while in on
35 act action acting activity
36 during when per in
37 is was to be were
38 healthier stronger higher healthy


Read the text below. Fill in the each gap with the one word which best fits each space (39—46).

Communication ProblemsEurope has always had its differences. Think of food, kissing or dress sense. Think of how people in different countries speak on the telephone. The Ukrainian translation of “Good morning. My name is Jack Smith. Would you be (39)________ kind as to put me through to Mr. Tkachenko?” is just a shout” Tkachenkoooo!”

Sense of humour changes a great (40)________ from country to country. What is funny in one place (41)________ be rude in another. The same can be (42)________ for gestures: what acceptable in an Italian taverna (snapping your fingers to call the waiter’s attention, for example) can (43)________ a fight in an Irish restaurant.

In some countries—Ukraine, Poland, Britain—the art of queuing means people(44)________ straight lines, in others like Greece (45)________ Portugal, queue take a more artistic shape.

All (46)________ unfortunately goes almost unreported. Journalists, when write books, tend to write about historic „events. That’s why a guide to European manners written by a psychologist from Oxford University is very interesting.

# A B C D
39 so such like that the same
40 promise deal dialogue dispute
41 can could have to may
42 told spoke said suggested
43 start compose continue finish
44 class type sort form
45 after or before but
46 these that this then


Your local tourist office has summer jobs available in your area for tour guides to work with groups of English-speaking visitors. Most of these tourists will be retired people in their sixties or seventies.

Write a letter of application, saying why you think you are a suitable person to do this job and mentioning one or two places you would take these tourists to.

1.A; 2.F; 3.D; 4.B; 5.E; 6.D; 7.B; 8.B; 9.B; 10.A; 11.D; 12.G; 13.A; 14.F; 15.E; 16.F; 17.E; 18.B; 19.D; 20.G; 21.C; 22.C; 23.C; 24.D; 25.A; 26.D; 27.B; 28.A; 29.C; 30.A; 31.A; 32.C; 33.B; 34.A; 35.D; 36.C; 37.A; 38.A; 39.A; 40.B; 41.D; 42.C; 43.A; 44.D; 45.B; 46.C

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